Blue is for boys.
Or at least that is what society teaches us to teach our
children.
When a woman finds out she is pregnant with a girl, her baby
shower will be decorated pink and with a boy blue. I must admit, my shower was a blue/green/yellow color scheme. This was solely because that was the day I found out I was having a boy.
Why can’t boys like pink and girls like blue? Is it because we teach them the exact opposite?
I recently started to notice, and by notice it’s been mainly through other people’s reactions that my little boy loves it all.
Since he started learning his colors, the two that he would consistently point out were pink and purple.
All the other colors came after but I thought nothing of it, just that he loves pink and purple and knows those two colors.
We recently watched the little mermaid, and he loved it. So much that he asked for an Ariel.
Since we had already been making weekly trips to the Disney store, I knew exactly where to find her.
She was his new found love and he wanted to take her everywhere, on subway rides, to the playground and by his side in bed as he fell asleep.
One thing I was immediately cautious about was him taking Ariel along with him on his weekend visits with his dad. I took precaution by suggesting he take another toy that was as cool as she is.
Most of the time his mind was already made up and he always decided to leave her home. The week following one of his visits he mentioned in a very mature 3 year old way, that his dad had made him sad. He explained that his dad told him to throw Ariel (who he refers to as Mario) in the trash.
In my mind I knew I couldn’t react the way I wanted to, for
his sake I had to keep cool. As he stood there his little frustrated angry face
waiting for my reaction, my mind raced. I knew I had been careful and I knew
for a fact that he had never taken Mario with him. But how else did his dad
know about her?
The only conclusion I could reach was that my little boy
loves his Mario so much that he shared that with his dad, only to find out that
his dad did not love the thought of it. In one of my strongest single mommy moments, I simply told him that boys and girls like Mario and it is a yeco (translation: muneca) that everyone can play with.
He was reassured, I think.
But I also made sure to tell him that mommy said it is ok
and if his dad has a problem with it then he should talk to mommy.
Then I made him repeat it.
And then he promised to say it if his dad ever told him to
throw Mario away.
But that’s not where it ended, on a recent early morning subway ride, I was
once again reminded of society’s rules.
As Aurum sat in his stroller, Mario in tow, I heard a stranger’s
voice. I refused to look up but rather ignored the comment and kept my composure.
“A boy? .…why does he have a doll, dolls are for girls…
I felt a reaction crawling up my throat to scream out of my mouth but I fought it back, patiently waited for our stop and hoped that my innocent little boy holding the little mermaid did not hear.
What do you do?
As a parent, if your child is threatened in any way, you
rise up and protect them!! In any circumstance you stick up for your kid!
I never realized by fulfilling my sons wish of having Ariel
that I would spark this fire inside people starting a battle over the innocence
of a child vs. the role society plays in our lives. Am I wrong in the eyes of machismo dads and men who believe that boys should not play with dolls?
Or am I teaching my son the value of being an individual, having choices and marching to the beat of his own drum?
I’ve concluded that people will always have opinions of
their own, and right now that is what I will teach my son. His opinion matters
and until he is old enough to defend it he is to tell people to talk to his
mommy about it.
I am proud to say nothing has stopped him from playing with Mario;
he loves her nonetheless since the day he got her.
He also recently asked for a Dora plush pillow from Target,
and he carries her along with him from time to time.
