more to come

When I started this it was supposed to be a more frequent thing. Looking back at the archive list on my page it sux that I have only written one post this year. Yes and here comes December strolling along, so sad. I guess mommy-hood has got me caught up or the fact that my college days of procrastination are still in me. I do plan to write more I promise. I am still juggling being a mom period let alone with the word single in front of it. A lot has happened and I keep it all in my head. It sure does have a lot to do with raising my boy on my own. I find I have no time for anything anymore. I recently vowed to make time, more time for everything, family,friends, me time and especially more time for little me and my pet family!
Stay tuned for more.....

I dont know why but I just do....

I have a very special place in my life for my ex...dont know whether this is good or bad. Of course or at least at the moment I think he will always have a special place in my heart. I went through it. I couldn't stand him and I said I hated him. These things may still be true but I think I am in such a different place in my life that I hardly even care anymore. So lately we have been speaking on a daily basis again, for those of you that do not know this, he is a marine and was deployed out of state. For the most part this didn't affect me since we were already over before he left but I did want him to be a part of my little boys life.
A little history...he has always been about other ppl, whenever it concerned someone else it was his priority...so now going through so many changes right, becoming a dad, experience in the marines and away from home....you think the dumbass would change??? NOPE
Its really funny in a way...everyone including his parents said he would change..whats funny is I was the biggest skeptic.
He proved me right.
Doesn't come see his son and when he did its it within a 2 week time period and the visit lasted no more than an hour or so.
In a way I still have hope, I know I am a fool to believe it can work. I look at him sometimes and I miss the way we were. I miss his touch, his laugh, the way he looked after me...dont get me wrong there were bad times hence the breakup...but I do love him, I think.
I can't stand him, but part of me wants him...I dont know why but I just do...